“Bound to Radiate”

“Hate tectonics and the grievances I hold.

Do you move like the earth? 

Do you grind into yourself and melt into liquid? 

What is your lava?

Is it all the things you never said? 

You are bound to radiate.”

This painting is a top view of the tension before an eruption. It is an emotional illustration of what it feels like to smooth over and contain volatile information. You can see the tension lines that are threaded together.  This is the willpower or strong will to contain what is underneath the dark parts.  

There are so many intricate ways we deal with our emotions as humans. Sometimes we freely share, and sometimes we hide away.  Sometimes we get into the habit of hiding away from other people, we actually get really good at hiding away from ourselves.  We think that holding onto it will make it more special.  We thread elaborate traps that capture it. 

Why do we do this? 

If we allow these little things to hide in us, then essentially we are allowing them to live.  They can only live in the hidden places.  That is because I am thinking of them as being untruths. If they are exposed or “talked out” then it would be so obvious that it is an untruth, that it would just disappear into thin air.  That is why they can only live in the shadowy places.  Once they are aired out, they disappear.  

This may be another way of describing a maya, an illusion. Sometimes we make up our minds that things are a certain way, that we don’t even realize it is self constructed.  If we did realize it, it wouldn’t be there. 

So here we are with millions of threads between our fingers, weaving illusions for ourselves, believing our own self constructed fables, just trying to make our way through this complicated world.  Oh what a laugh they must be having from the other side!